I love finding great insight from parenting experts that have "been there, done that". I ran across this article today in MomSense online by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend and wanted to share part of it with you. Dads, don't stop reading...this is good!
"Q: My husband and I have a strong marriage, yet we still disagree about discipline. He thinks I'm too easy on the kids, I think he's too hard. How can we find some middle ground?
A: One of the best ways to dislodge your logjam with your husband is to stop talking about how to discipline your kids while you're doing it and decide what to do "in the moment" before the need to discipline actually occurs.
First, discover the "no brainers" you both agree on — things such as wanting your kids to obey your requests, treating you and others with respect, doing their chores on time, and disciplining your kids with a combination of love and limits while avoiding being "squishy" on either side (i.e., only love and no limits or only limits and no loving attitude). You most likely agree on wanting to avoid anger or guilt when disciplining them and to give your kids freedom, choices and then consequences for their choices. Most parents can avoid arguments in the heat of the moment by agreeing ahead of time on these big-picture discipline issues.
Next, establish a specific plan for your discipline principles and for the consequences when they're not followed. For example, "When one of us asks Johnny to turn off the DVD and pick up his toys and he doesn't obey, what will WE do?" Agree beforehand on what you'll do, such as saying, "Sorry, Johnny, bad decision. That means you won't get to watch any DVDs tomorrow." Also include your kids on the expectations and rules and consequences. Then, everyone will be on the same page — you, your husband and your kids."
Great wisdom there, don't ya think??
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