I love finding great insight from parenting experts that have "been there, done that". I ran across this article today in MomSense online by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend and wanted to share part of it with you. Dads, don't stop reading...this is good!
"Q: My husband and I have a strong marriage, yet we still disagree about discipline. He thinks I'm too easy on the kids, I think he's too hard. How can we find some middle ground?
A: One of the best ways to dislodge your logjam with your husband is to stop talking about how to discipline your kids while you're doing it and decide what to do "in the moment" before the need to discipline actually occurs.
First, discover the "no brainers" you both agree on — things such as wanting your kids to obey your requests, treating you and others with respect, doing their chores on time, and disciplining your kids with a combination of love and limits while avoiding being "squishy" on either side (i.e., only love and no limits or only limits and no loving attitude). You most likely agree on wanting to avoid anger or guilt when disciplining them and to give your kids freedom, choices and then consequences for their choices. Most parents can avoid arguments in the heat of the moment by agreeing ahead of time on these big-picture discipline issues.
Next, establish a specific plan for your discipline principles and for the consequences when they're not followed. For example, "When one of us asks Johnny to turn off the DVD and pick up his toys and he doesn't obey, what will WE do?" Agree beforehand on what you'll do, such as saying, "Sorry, Johnny, bad decision. That means you won't get to watch any DVDs tomorrow." Also include your kids on the expectations and rules and consequences. Then, everyone will be on the same page — you, your husband and your kids."
Great wisdom there, don't ya think??
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Back to School!
If you are like me, the summer just flew by! All of a sudden it was time for back to school shopping and packing lunches. The summer was just too short! Although, my kids (for the most part) were ready to return to school to see friends and be out of the house. There is only so much "time together" that siblings can handle. As Beth Moore says, "Can anyone relate??"
With the start of school comes early schedules, late dinners, homework and sports practice. In the busyness of life, sometimes we fail to do the most important things. Our family has by no means got this all figured out but I would like to share how we start our school days with our children.
In the mornings, before the kids get out the door and on the bus, we take 15 minutes to read Scripture, talk and pray together. Currently, we are using a book entitled "Dinner Table Devotions". Don't let "dinner" throw you! You can use it anytime. It is simply a good way to get spiritual conversations started, read Scripture together and get focused for the day. We really enjoy this time with our kids in the mornings. It brings us all together if only for a few minutes to keep the most important thing, the most important thing.
For those of you with younger children, you might want to focus on a memory verse for the week that you can put on the refrigerator and talk about over their bowl of Cheerios. Then, take time to pray with them before they are off and running! These will be lessons that they will remember all of their lives.
Family devotions may not be an easy habit to get into but once you do, you will reap the benefits! God calls us moms and dads to be the primary individuals teaching our children the ways of God. We need to step up and take that responsibility seriously.
With the start of school comes early schedules, late dinners, homework and sports practice. In the busyness of life, sometimes we fail to do the most important things. Our family has by no means got this all figured out but I would like to share how we start our school days with our children.
In the mornings, before the kids get out the door and on the bus, we take 15 minutes to read Scripture, talk and pray together. Currently, we are using a book entitled "Dinner Table Devotions". Don't let "dinner" throw you! You can use it anytime. It is simply a good way to get spiritual conversations started, read Scripture together and get focused for the day. We really enjoy this time with our kids in the mornings. It brings us all together if only for a few minutes to keep the most important thing, the most important thing.
For those of you with younger children, you might want to focus on a memory verse for the week that you can put on the refrigerator and talk about over their bowl of Cheerios. Then, take time to pray with them before they are off and running! These will be lessons that they will remember all of their lives.
Family devotions may not be an easy habit to get into but once you do, you will reap the benefits! God calls us moms and dads to be the primary individuals teaching our children the ways of God. We need to step up and take that responsibility seriously.
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